Beer + preschool = have to go home

Kate was packing two Smirnoff Ices into her preschool backpack.

Me: "Uh, what are you doing?"

Kate: "I have to bring some beer and I need one for my cubby and one in case I have to go home."

Not exactly....

Me: "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

Sam: "I do?"

TMI

Kate was quizzing Sam on body parts.

Kate: Sam, where is your penis?

Sam: My mouth?

It's a legitimate question

Me: Kate, I like your weiner dog pajamas.

Kate: But where are their weiners?

Context is not important

Kate: Now I'm probably going to put it in your butt.

X-rated

Nick: How do you know Dumbo's a boy?

Me: Uh, I guess it's his huge elephant penis?

Kate: NO, she has a huge elephant vagina!

Oops I did it again

Kate: I want to be a dancer when I grow up.

Me: Uh, what kind? Ballet dancer? Tap dancer?

Kate: No, a Britney Spears dancer.