I feel so much better...

I told Kate I couldn't leave her in the pool to get her a snack.

Kate: "It's ok, I won't drown. I'll wait for you at the bottom of the pool so that I'm safe."

Slowpoke is now a synonym for semi-truck

Kate: "When I grow up, I'm gonna drive a car, and a bus, and a train, and a slowpoke."

Not a bad idea...

Kate, after her first visit from the ice cream man: "I wish that there was a snack man."

Jimmy Buffett would be proud

Me: "I hope daddy enjoys getting up with you at 5 am."

Kate: "Well, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!"

Inappropriate

Kate, walking around with a screwdriver: "I screwed everything, I have to screw everything!"

Helping my self esteem

We were looking at my high school ID and I commented sarcastically that I looked really hot.

Kate, picking up my college ID: "Well, this is when you were not so hot."

Helping my self esteem

We were looking at my high school ID and I commented sarcastically that I looked really hot.

Kate, picking up my college ID: "Well, this is when you were not so hot."

I think I'm the third one

Kate: "Some people call them trucks, some people call them semis, and some people call them slowpokes."

I don't think I'd like that

Kate: "I wish toilet paper was like ice cream."

I guess he's mine

At Walmart, we split up. Nick took Sam and wandered off, leaving me with Kate. Soon we heard crying.

Kate: "That's YOUR screaming child."